At first, there were butterflies.
Perhaps they were all you needed to believe in that magical phrase that it was simply love at first sight. From the moment you locked eyes with your partner, you desperately wanted them to be your soulmate. After all, there wasn’t anyone that you seemed to connect with more. From the dates you shared to the unforgettable memories you both embraced, things all seemed to head in the right direction...until they suddenly weren’t.
Your heart aches to acknowledge the painful truth that your relationship might not be how you expected it to be. So, you decide to overlook the red flags and the warning signs, barreling full steam ahead. Perhaps it's just a rough patch that you’ll eventually get over together. There’s got to be light at the other end of the tunnel, right?
Or there could be a new kind of light. The light of vulnerability and honesty, in which you shed it upon the real status of your relationship. Deep in your mind, take the time to think through some of the questions that have been swirling in your mind. Do you feel that it’s maybe time to move on? Could the relationship actually be over?
These feelings are no doubt confusing and most certainly painful. Leaving someone who you thought was going to be your soulmate was something you couldn’t have ever possibly imagined. However, by acknowledging the situation, you’re going to treat yourself better and pave the way for the authentic relationships that you deserve. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at the 6 most important signs that it’s time to leave your current relationship and move on.
1- You live in the past
One of the best parts about a relationship is the memories that you create together. However, no matter how sweet or tender they may be, they shouldn’t be the sole reason why you’re still in the relationship. In a way, memories are like junk food — they’re great to help you pass the time and fill you up but are never enough to satisfy you in the way that a healthy ongoing relationship can. If you’re no longer happy with your partner in the present and can’t see the both of you creating new memories for future you to look back on, then that might be a clear sign that you need to leave. The more time you spend trapped in the past, the more you begin to create an altered reality for yourself that simply doesn’t reflect the relationship that you’re actually in. Never forget that you live in the present moment each and every day. Your commitment to stay in the relationship should always be based on how you’re currently feeling toward your partner.
2- Staying on just because you think you’ll change them
It’s almost like the classic bad boy movie come to life. The main character always thinks she’ll be the one to change him after no one else has, and surprise — she actually does! Perhaps that brings you hope as well that you’ll be the one to change your partner’s bad habits. As long as you stick with them for the long term, they’ll be bound to turn into the ideal partner, right?
Sadly, life doesn’t seem to resemble fictitious movies as much as we want it to do. It can be awfully hard for people to change their habits and sometimes even the power of love can’t change that. If your partner’s bad habits continually hurt you and they don’t seem to put in the effort to change, then you can’t keep punishing yourself. It’s time to leave the relationship and find someone who will put in the effort to change.
3- The relationship brings you more stress than joy
Even though our partners can make us the happiest of people, there’s no doubt that every relationship suffers from its ups and downs. However, a good relationship will always have more ups than downs. If you find yourself at the opposite end of the scale, then you’ll need to take a step back to see if it’s worth pursuing. After all, we enter relationships to be happier than we already are — not to find ourselves in a puddle of tears every night. Being with the right partner will always mean that you can entirely trust them, even when they’re not right by your side. If you struggle to feel that sense of security, then you’ll want to seek out another relationship that can help lift your spirits.
4- When you get hurt by verbal, physical, or emotional abuse
If you’re ever emotionally, physically, or verbally abused by your partner, then that’s a clear red flag right in front of your face telling you to leave. No matter how apologetic they might be later, flowers and chocolate boxes galore, don’t easily give in. If they allow it once early on into the relationship, then there’s no doubt that they’ll do it again and again. By accepting it the first few times, you’ll only be telling them that there are no severe consequences to their abuse. Even if the abuse isn’t physical, the wounds by all means can be even deeper to the heart. No matter how much you love your partner at the end of the day, abuse is something that should never be tolerated.
5- There’s simply no effort put into the relationship
Did your partner once plan the most intricate dates that made your heart melt on the spot? Did they take the time out of their day to do something special for you? Perhaps now, they no longer put in as much effort as they used to. Even though the big romantic gestures do cool down a little the longer that you’re in a relationship, that doesn’t mean that bare minimum effort should be the norm. Instead, both of you have to balance out the commitment that a relationship requires. If you’re the only one who bothers to put time into your relationship, then it’ll constantly drain your social and mental battery. It’s important that your partner reciprocates this effort before you tap out completely.
6- When the relationship holds you back from your true potential
At the end of the day, your relationship should help you grow as a person and flourish into who you're meant to be. Your partner should be the person that cheers you on in your goals on the sidelines. However, if it seems like both of you are being dragged into two different directions, then take a step back to see if you really need to fight it. Your relationship should never be holding you back from your true self. Time passes and people start to change, along with their goals and personal interests. It’s perfectly okay to discover that both of you have outgrown each other and are meant for different things and different people. Allow yourself to accept that you’ll find someone new who can align with your new lifestyle. In no time, they’ll be able to help you flourish like never before so that you can live out your happily ever after.